A New Way of Life during a Pandemic
Human beings are some of the most social animals on the planet, and right now we are being asked to stay home to save lives. While social isolation may be a new term for many, it is something people living with brain injury deal with all the time. Some survivors struggle against their impulses to social isolate while others embrace their alone time. I read a Psychology Today article titled "Covide-19 Welcomes the World to Brain Injury-Type Isolation" where author Shireen Jeejeebhoy said "Suddenly a virus shows the healthy what life is like for their ill and injured family and friends."
To check-in on their well-being, I began calling a few of the more quiet and private brain injury support group members in recent weeks. Many of us have endured something seemingly insurmountable, and our brain injuries are why we are often referred to as "survivors." Consider this evidence that we can persevere, while taking every precaution necessary to keep ourselves safe and healthy.
We all overcame great challenges in our recoveries, especially the depressing forecasts many doctors gave our families about our outcomes. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus has been quoted as saying "change is the only constant in life." News about the Coronavirus pandemic seems to change more quickly than a set of tires on a Nascar track. These days might be recorded in the history books as some of the most trying times our nation has ever faced.
Following guidelines set forth by the WHO and CDC means we all have to behave differently. I use to jokingly refer to myself as the personal-space-violator because I openly offered hugs to whomever would like one or appeared to need one. Unfortunately, the days of free hugs appear to be over or at least for now. While learning how to live my life differently, here are a few habits I have cultivated that may help make this time of isolation more bearable for you too:
Limit time spent in front of the TV or computer. I find it helpful to create a reoccurring alarm that sounds every hour because I can easily lose track of time.
Set aside time for yourself to either meditate or just to be quiet and calm. For me it’s meditating ten-minutes each day using an app called Daily Calm, I recently enjoyed my 200th-Day Streak! It is an important habit for me because I am more connected to what’s going on in my mind and body and I find it creates space between depressing and anxious thoughts. I slip more easily into acceptance when faced with a challenging situation.
Social isolation does not mean staying in a dark cave, so get outside into the sunshine, while maintaining appropriate social distance (that means at least 6-feet apart from other people). Open the windows of your home if weather allows it.
To fight the gloom of social isolation, make sure to do something that makes you feel good each day. For me, that means each morning I intentionally change out of my pajamas and get dressed for a casual day of “work”. Sometimes I even style my hair and put on accessories!
Creating a routine may help breakup a monotonous day. These habits can organize an otherwise structureless time and helps me move more purposely through the day. I hope some of them can help you too.
My sample day might look like:
30-minute cardio workout on an exercise mat.
30-minutes of local morning news to stay current on the cases in our area followed by 30 minutes of national morning news (I am very careful about monitoring my news consumption, so that I do not end up watching too much TV).
Start every day with an apartment Clorox wipe-down, making sure I disinfect these surfaces: all cabinet, drawer, faucet and door handles (inside and out), computer keypads, cellphones, light switches, remote controls, lamp knobs, microwave buttons, stove handles and fan pulls.
Participate in a virtual brain injury peer leader roundtable led by colleagues in New York City.
Find or create digital connection opportunities using FaceTime or Zoom. So far, this has included organizing an Asheville brain injury support group, joining a brain injury support group in Raleigh, attending Camp Green Cove singalongs, Saturday family visits, and even a virtual back-porch happy hour!
Attend Unity of the Blue Ridge Sunday services by livestream. Congregants emailed our photos to be added to the seats. Rev. Darlene may be speaking in a darkened sanctuary to empty chairs, but our color-copied smiles are creatively there with her!
My husband and I make weekly phone calls to our parents. In this way, the Coronavirus has actually brought us closer to those we love!
Life looks very unfamiliar now. My grocery store today implemented one-way aisles to help shoppers create more distance between each other as we moved through the store. Tape on the floor helps customers be mindful of maintaining space at the registers. While the world’s terrain looks new, I believe flexibility may be key to maintaining our sanity while living in these unprecedented times. Having and maintaining a structured schedule is so very valuable to those living with brain injury. Creating a new schedule that observes social isolation and distancing may be difficult, but it can be done.
The pandemic is requiring us to do things differently, forcing our real-world relationships into virtual settings for the unforeseeable future. Find new ways to stay connected to your community, try reaching out to your support group facilitators and ask if you can begin meeting using Zoom or by conference calls. Set up weekly calls or FaceTime visits with friends and family.
My meditation practice invites me to ask “what if we already knew that everything is going to be okay?” How can we access a place of hope and peace during such fearful times? I do not know yet. A lot may have changed by the time this article is printed, but I am confident that we can figure it all out together. Let’s keep our conversations going, it is important to stay in touch and not be alone. So keep talking people whether it is on the phone or online. Connection is important.